Sunday, June 21, 2009

Are those Ninja Turtles with knee pads?

Playing Battletoads last night got me to realize how much video games have changed (as if E3 didn't prove enough of that). I'm not just talking in terms of graphics and crap. With the d-pad and analog sticks and bumpers and abxy, it's almost impossible to immediately jump into a game with no "hand-holding." Yet somehow, NES games with a mere two buttons still kick my ass. When I starting playing last night, it was embarrassing how horrible I was at this game. I couldn't manage to get past this super electro-box guy in the second level...yeah...LEVEL TWO. Really? I felt like an pathetic excuse for a gamer. How hard could the second level of an ancient game be? Apparently pretty damn difficult for this kid right here. So, of course, I became consumed with impatience and quit.

What I want to know is how I used to sit on the couch for hours as a kid, playing Donkey Kong Country until I either made it to a save point, beat the world, or had to eat; yet as an adult if I can't beat the level in 15 minutes I have to stop playing to keep myself from strangling the machine with its own cords. I can't really tell if it's because games were vastly more difficult, if I just lack the skills necessary to function as a human and a gamer, or maybe if I have just grown more impatient in life. Maybe it's because as we age we slowly transition into a different dimension where time passes more rapidly than usual, or maybe there is some evil swamp banshee living on the outskirts of every town, draining the time from a person's day once they hit eighteen. Either way, it appears that Battletoads has it in for me.

Luckily, I am onto the universe and it's mind-tricking ways and am determined to continue playing this game. I don't care if it takes me forever, I'm going to figure out what to do (on my own, no cheats for this chick), and give it my absolute all. And when I get frustrated, I'll pop ICO into the PS2 and do a little Yorda saving :)


  1. You do know that Battletoads is considered to be one of the most frustratling hard games ever made, right?

    That and Ghosts & Goblins.

  2. I think it has to do with the style of game too. I mean how many modern games do we have that give you such a limited number of options; A or B, Attack or jump, this or that. With only those 2 options you really have to be pretty dead on with your playing and you really gotta keep it simple. No complicated attack moves in Battletoads.

    And what spilth said... It is one of the harder games out there.

  3. I just have this to say: Battletoads & Double Dragon: The Ultimate Team.